You have the exact body you want

Yes, you read that title correctly.   It's a very true statement and today I had my epiphany about my body as I hoisted a girdle over my pudgy body to squeeze my heaviness into a dress I bought for a wedding I swore I'd lose weight for I realized I did this to myself.  Now I am not saying I spent many days and nights wolfing down boxes of chocolate to get this way but I did do this to myself.    I had two children.
Prior to being pregnant my entire life I struggled with being a little chubby but nothing like I am now.  I was about 15 lbs heavier then I should have been all my life but after college I FINALLY figured out how to lose weight thanks to weight watchers.  I learned about nutrition and how to really be accountable for what goes in my mouth.  I lost 34 lbs and was finally a size 4.  But a couple of years later I got pregnant with my first child and I didn't just gain 25 lbs with that pregnancy.  It was more along the lines of 50 lbs.  After my daughter was born I was not very good at working out.  I really could have lost the weight but I didn't really get serious about weight loss until she was almost 2 years old and the very month I joined the gym God blessed me with the pregnancy of my second child. I was so fortunate to have to completely perfect pregnancies I can't complain too much.  But I didn't turn down much food when I was pregnant with either children.  The first time the weight did seem to melt off much quicker then it has the 2nd time.  Actually there is no melting of any sorts going in here with this 2nd post pregnancy period.  People always said 'breast feeding will just melt the weight off' .  HA! I now weigh more then I ever have in my life.  It's terrifying to look at myself in the mirror.

Something I realized as I looked at my girth in the mirror is I am in for the fight of my life to lose this weight and be proud of my body.  I mean, I am realistic, I am not trying to get the body of a super model.  I am just trying to have a body of a woman who is in her early 30's and is not afraid to wear a one piece swim suit to the pool with my kids.  Yes, that is right, a one-piece swim suit.  I don't have expectations to be a bikini model in my 30's I just want to look good and feel good about myself.   So today starts my mission.  I want to gain enough self confidence that I will lose all this weight and teach my daughters that it's important to live a healthy active lifestyle.